Men love successful women And so should you...

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A little background

I just spotted it again, another post on Facebook about how women should never “rely on a man”, and that men are “threatened” by successful women.

quote: “Ladies, don't let a man hold you back from your goals.”

As if 99% of all men are stuck in the male chauvinism glory days of the 1950s. The post goes on to call all women to action, as though there is a war coming and they need to be prepared for it.

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Personally, I love the passion and the huge accomplishments women have made in the twenty-first century. Women are more successful now than any other time in our history, and it's awesome.

I grew up in a household with four strong female personalities (hey sis!). I've trained with several female MMA fighters. I have scar above my left brow from a female fighter, blood dripping, she simply said “next!”.

Maybe that's what inspired me to write this blog post. To share an opinion most men I know strongly agree with.

My opinion? I think most men find a woman who can take care of herself very attractive. We don't want a woman who lies in bed all day while we take care of everything for her. That's unhealthy, and exhausting.

We aren't intimidated or threatened by female independence and strength. We don't want to hold women back from goals, or see them fail.

Women are equal to men in terms of human worth and value, and should have every legal right men have. No question about it.

Some women reading this post are going to say they have met guys that are intimidated by a successful females. And they are right, a 2006 study found that (some, not all) men found intelligent women appealing until they perceived her as smarter.

I would argue the type of guys that are intimidated by successful women are just insecure wankers, and women should avoid them completely. The same is true for any relationship, if you hang around with negative people, it will hold you back from achieving your goals.

Most men I know are working hard to pay the bills, pay off credit card debt, fund a start-up, or max out a retirement account. And that is EXACTLY what most women are doing as well.

Life isn't easy, sometimes it's damn hard. Two people working together to build wealth and security for the future is a lot better than going it alone.

I think women can rely on men. But a woman should not rely on a man to pay her bills and do everything for her. Instead, rely on your man to be encouraging and supportive while you pursue your dreams and goals. And do the same for him.

Everyone wants to have an equal say in decisions, big or small. Couples can work together, and respect each others opinions and goals.

Men are men, we want to have input on decisions, and not feel resentment because we are being emasculated by some girl power agenda that assumes we don't want you to be successful.

It all comes down to balance and respect. Guys aren't out to sabotage women's success in the world. We love it.

Are you struggling with this issue in your relationship?

  • Colleen Santos

    It’s very frustrating to be a modern-day woman hoping to find a guy who truly embodies this 50/50 partnership. But, ultimately, if the relationship is truly healthy, they’d both want and encourage each other’s success. It’s probably a great litmus test for gauging the relationship…if one or both partners have any sense of inadequacy or control factors, coming into play.

    • Exactly Colleen, without mutual encouragement the relationship will not survive. Takes two. Thanks for your input.

  • Aleah Brock

    Amen, Bryan Millhouse! And well said! I believe when you put two successful individuals into a relationship, then you have a what is called a POWER COUPLE! I do not particularly care for the all dominating, girl power, don’t need men for anything female mind set. Just as I do not care for the chauvinistic men that think we are still in the 1950’s and ladies shouldn’t…….. we are definitely in an age of equality! Yes, ladies be proud of our accomplishments but it is equally as important to acknowledge the accomplishments of the men in this world. So settle down ladies! We aren’t waging war against our fellow man. Yes, we know that we can do everything they can and we’ve proved it, but lets not forget to let our men, be men.

    • Well said Aleah! Couldn’t agree more.

  • Dixie Whited Frost

    Women and men should compliment each other. Whether this is in their relationship or in the office. Women have skills that men could learn from just as true as the opposite is true. Women can work hard, at times even harder, than the men. I believe; that when we are driven; that we force men to drive harder too! Maybe, possibly, this is what some men are afraid of. Lets speak the true, People, notice that I said “People”, are afraid of success! Why? Because they are MORE afraid of failing! But guess what! I bet that why women are becoming more accomplished is because we are not afraid (well we are afraid but we try anyways) of trying and failing! We do it everyday with our children! The more failure the more success there is in the end!
    True or Not?
    Great Thread Bryan! Got me thinking for sure!

  • Gloria Atanmo

    Great post, B! As someone who considers herself “successful” and a “go-getter” in life, it’s been crazy being told I intimidate someone, especially if they seem to be a decent guy. I now know I probably saved loads of time and energy because any REAL man knows a successful partner is not only empowering but sexy as hell. Haha. Keep it up! Great read 🙂

    • Thanks for the comment Gloria! I know your a go-getter, so don’t settle for anything less.

  • #nofear Dixie, thanks for the comment!

  • Victoria Quetel

    Couldn’t agree with you more, Millhouse! Well said. I’m sure there are men out there that are on board with your thought process so I’ll share something…women find it incredibly sexy to know men that are confident in themselves to support and encourage powerful women. Okay, not rocket science by any means, but most certainly something that obviously needs to be stated. I personally find it incredibly attractive when a man sees my success and drive as a strength Instead of a disability. Why wouldn’t a man want a woman who is self reliant, independent and successful?? Your guess is as good as mine. Baffled sometimes. Ha!

    • I couldn’t have said it better myself Victoria, exactly! “Smart” guys will appreciate a successful woman and encourage her to be her best. Thanks for your comments.

  • Mel

    I think a successful, confident and independent person will weed out insecure partners. I noticed for myself, the more successful I became in career that many men I dated seemed intimidated. Some went on to date less successful, more submissive type partners. I consider this a blessing- a good way to weed out cowards 🙂 We must however, be conscious of not letting success go to our heads. There is always opportunity to learn from others and grow. There’s a fine line between true confidence and knowing oneself vs. arrogance and conceit- which no one is attracted to! Awesome topic Bryan!

    • Great perspective Mel, remove the “weeds” and find a strong oak tree. Thanks for the comment!

  • Meli

    Bryan I love your post, I use to create intimate relationship with guys that had issues with me making more money than them, they would feel threaten instead of feel proud and feel they could also rise up and make some money! I’m glad I’m conceous now and I know all men don’t feel the same about successful women and I don’t need to feel intimidated either with successful men like I used to! :).

    • Love it. Thanks Melivic!

  • Mary Meganne Pahl

    Look, I honestly don’t think this is a man vs. woman issue. It’s a human issue. There always comes a point in every relationship where people begin to feel vulnerable. At this point we realize that we must fully trust and love our partner even if they let us down at times because inevitable they will. The true test of faith/love is are you going to love them anyway? Love them through it. And them you? There is no perfect love or couple. The reality is it takes a lot if HARD work. Work that I feel many are just not willing to do these days. It truly is about raising each other up through success and failure. Being happy for ones success and having two whole people present and participating in the relationship. Let’s be honest men love women! Period!

    • You make a great point about loving someone “thru it”. Your perspective seems to be from the “already together” standpoint, don’t forget, many women don’t even get that far with guys who can’t handle their success. Thanks for the comment!